Regurge 2

That bastard!  Kellie slammed the rest of her martini, slide off her bar stool, and stomped over to the other side of the bar.  Oh dude!  You just pissed off the wrong chick.  That’s right, you better squirm.  She watched as the guy grew more nervous with each step she took. 

“Hello Conall,” Kellie bit out as she stood inches beside him.  “I’m assuming that is your name since I was suppose to meet a guy here by that name and I would know who he was because he would hold a red rose and I do believe that is what you have in your hand.” 

She snatched the crushed rose.  It looked as if someone had thrown in on the floor and then stomped on the bloom with the heel of their shoe.  “Why yes it is.  A little mutilated but clearly it’s a red rose.  Now, I wonder how it came to be on the floor.”  Kellie leaned against the bar and lazily swung the rose upside-down by the stem.  Red rose petals bled onto the bar floor.  “Given that it’s such a mess I have this nagging suspicion that you threw it down there so I wouldn’t see it.  I’m not your type, huh?  Let me guess.  You prefer you women thick in the head but thin on self-respect?  Makes it easier for you to convince them that your eyes are really on their face and not their boobs.”  Kellie narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together, daring Conall to say something.  Anything.   

Conall looked at his beer, waiting for some form of salvation to appear to him in its amber, frothy head.  He made it a rule to never let friends set him up but he was desperate to finally see, in flesh, the woman that crowded his thoughts in recent months.  I just wanted to be in the same room as her. She was never suppose to know it was me.  Shit.  He had taken a gamble and lost, and now Kellie would be in great danger if he didn’t get out fast.  Conall tried to think of a way out that would save even the smallest amount of face, but every escape option that ran though his head ended up with the same result, get his ass handed to him on a platter. 

 “Answer me.”  Kellie’s snarl interrupted his thoughts.

When Kellie walked into the bar Conall knew this had been a bad idea.  At that moment he should have made a break for the bathroom and then slipped out the back.  However, as much his mind kept yelling at him to move, his body made no attempt to obey.  Damn it!  I’m fucked no matter what I do. 

He exhaled a soft sigh.  Well, being an eternal bachelor can’t be that bad.  “I have no idea what you are talking about lady.  I just came in to get a beer after a bitch of a day at work.  So, if you don’t mind…” he gulped down the remainder of his pint, “I would like to get back to doing that.”

He tried to pretend that the bar top was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen.  Leave Kellie.  Please, just turn around and go home.  Conall signaled to the bartender that he wanted another.  It took everything he had to not grab Kellie and pull her lush curves into his lap so she could feel how hard she was making him.  His shaft was starting to pulse and strain against his jeans.  But he knew he deserved every ounce of pain that was to come.  What he had done and what he was doing was shitty, but he had no other choice.  He needed to get her out of this bar and, more importantly, away from him.

Conall tipped his head to the bartender as he set Conall’s beer in front of him.  As he went to grab it he saw Kellie’s slender hand shot out and snatch it away.  Instantly, he snapped his head to face her, and regretted it as soon as he met her sea glass green eyes.  She was the most beautiful women in this bar and she didn’t even know it.  The way her dress hugged her curves, the way those shoes made her legs look like they went on for miles, the way her chestnut waves kissed her shoulders…Keep it together Conall.  Lose it now and she dies.

“Give.  That.   Back.” he bit out.

“Give what back?  Oh, you mean this?”  Conall watched as she dumped the beer over his head.  She looked even sexier with that sinister smile on her lips.  He fought the need to grab her and crush his mouth against hers.  To cover her lips with the beer running down his face and then lick it off them.

“It’s all yours asshole!  And don’t forget this you lying sack of shit!”  Kellie slammed the rose on the bar and stomped towards the door.  Da-ham!.  The back is as nice as the front.  Conall could feel his shaft stiffening even more as he watch Kellie’s ass saunter out of the bar.  It pained him to know she hated his guts right now, but at least she was safe.  I’ll make it up to you later, somehow.

“Well, you did deserve that buddy.”  Conall glanced at the bartender.  He managed a sheepish smile as he gratefully took the towel offered by the man.

“I can’t argue there,” Conall whispered as he sopped up the beer soaking into his sweater and jeans.  “Thanks for the towel.  Sorry about the mess.”  Throwing a couple twenties onto the bar, he get up from the bar stool and made for the door.

*************************

Still staring out the patio door into her backyard, Kellie took one last long swig of the tequila and set the bottle on the dinette table.  She fumbled with the patio door latch for a second and then managed to pull the sliding door open.

“Cuj!  Saber!  Buzz!  Momma wants to go pass out, get in here!”  Kellie slurred as she squinted into the darkness.  “I can hear you three barking!”  After a moment she heard the faint jingle of tags as three black and tan blurs came into her view.  She opened the patio door wide and stepped out of the way as the three dogs ran full speed into the house.  After grabbing for the handle and getting nothing but air a couple times, she finally managed to grasp it and pull the door closed.  Just as she was about to turn the deck lights off she paused.  Huh?  She turned around and counted, “Oooonnne.  Twoooooo.  Thhhhrrreeee.”  Yep, all three dogs were in the house, but she could have sworn she had seen another dog just beyond the lights.

Yep, time to go pass out on the bed and forget this night ever happened.  She shook her head.  Oh!  That was smart dumbass.  Kellie squeezed her eyes shut and reached for a dinette chair with one hand and the switch for the deck lights with the other.  When she was sure the room had stopped swaying, she slowly opened her eyes and started towards her bedroom.  The dogs pranced down the hall, glancing back at her every so often to make sure she was following them.  Lead the way Dweedles.

Not even bothering to remove her clothes, Kellie fell onto of the bed and passed out.

Regurge 1

Kellie yanked her keys out of the door to her garage, slamming it as she cursed under her breath.  Worst fucking date EVER!  Hopping on one foot and then the other she struggled to remove the black stilettos that had abused her feet for the past two hours.   I would have had more fun brushing the dogs’ teeth.  She threw the shoes and her purse into a dinette chair and padded into the kitchen.  Kellie opened the fridge and grabbed a beer but after studying the bottle’s label for a moment she put it back and grabbed the tequila in the cupboard above the refrigerator.  I knew I should never have let Cara talk me into a blind date.

“Come on Kel,”  Cara pleaded as she peeked over their shared cubicle wall.  “Conall is uber cute.  He is also charming, straight and single!  You can’t get any better than that in this day and age.”  Cara had been trying to set Kellie up with Conall for the past month. 

“Fine Cara!  I will allow you to set me up on a blind date with Conall under one condition.”

“Ooookay, what is your condition?”

Without looking up from her computer monitor Kellie replied, “You never, and I mean nev-ver, pester me to go on a blind date again.”

“Deal!  After you meet him you won’t need to be set up on another blind date anyway.  I just know you two are made for each other. I’ll call Conall right away.  This is so awesome.”

Awesome was not the word Kellie would have used.  As she shuffled down the hall to her bedroom she took another swig from the tequila bottle.  It wasn’t like she had gone on the date expecting to have a love-at-first-sight moment or anything.  The only thing she had hoped for was a couple of free drinks maybe, and if she was really lucky, some stimulating conversation.

“Ha!” she snorted.  “That didn’t even come close to happening.  Have a feeling though that I usually have a deeper conversation talking to you three than I would have with that putz I went out with tonight.”

Kellie bent down in her den and unlocked the three dog crates.  As quickly as her beginning tequila buzz allowed her, she stepped to the side of the crates so she wouldn’t get knocked over by the tempest of fur that emerged from them.  A smile pulled at the corners of her lips as she watched the dogs run up and down the hallway.  No matter how shitty my day, you three always make me smile.

“I’m in here Dweedles!”  Kellie yelled as she made her way back to the kitchen patio door.  With her hand on the door handle she turned just in time to get plowed into by her two Airedales.  “Easy Cujo. Chill out Saber.  Take a page out of Buzzsaw’s hand book and learn some patience.”  Buzzsaw, her Welsh Terrier, was patiently sitting next to his brothers, wagging his little tail so fast his whole lower half moved with it. Shaking her head, Kellie opened the patio door and watched the three fuzzy butts ran out into the darkness.  Yep, would have had a lot more fun brushing the dogs’ teeth.

As Kellie peered into the darkness of her back yard, she took a deep breath and ran over the evenings events before the alcohol made everything to fuzzy.  Cara had set it up so that Kellie and Conall would meet at Rosie’s, a neighborhood bar both were familiar with.  Always the romantic, Cara told Kellie she would know who Conall was because he would be holding a red rose.  Seriously?  A red rose at Rosie’s?  Ack, how sappy. 

*************************

“Is that really what you are going to wear tonight?”  Cara asked Kellie as they were packing up to leave work.

“Yes…”  Kellie replied.  “And what is wrong with what I am wearing?”  She had on a simple sleeveless V neck black dress that flared out at the hips.  When she paired the dress with her black stilettos Kellie thought she didn’t look half bad.

“Nothing really,” Cara stammered.  “It’s just, um, maybe you could spice it up a bit you know?  Maybe get something that’s a little tighter, a little lower.  You should be utilizing your assets.”

Kellie frowned and looked down at her “assets” as Cara called them.  The dress she wore was already lower than she was comfortable with.  All day she had been checking herself to make sure she wasn’t giving her male co-workers a free show.  If she got something tighter and lower she knew she would be checking herself all night and making sure her “assets” weren’t make a run for it.  She returned her gaze back to Cara.

“I’m just going to have a couple drinks with the guy Cara.  I think I have a respectable amount of ‘assets’ on display.”   Kellie grumbled.

“Fine, if you say so.  I was just trying to help.  You better hurry up or you’ll be late anyway.”

Before walking into Rosie’s Kellie ran her sweaty palms down the side of her dress and took a deep breath.  Why the hell am I nervous?  I am not expecting anything to come out of this blind date. I really could use a drink.  She opened the door and was greeted by a billow of sound and smoke.  The bar was full of couples and co-workers grabbing a couple drinks before heading home.  As she quickly scanned the room she saw various pockets of people laughing and talking but that was it.  No mysterious man holding a red rose.  Oh well.  I still could use that drink so I’ll just wait at the bar for a little while and see if he shows. 

Kellie spotted an empty bar stool.  As she walked over to it she rescanned the room but came up empty yet again.  Once she sat down and ordered a dirty martini (three olives) she pulled out her phone and started texting Cara.  Rosie’s at 6 right?  Maybe she had heard wrong.  It was only five after six anyway.  The bartender set her drink down in front of her. 

“Excuse me,” she asked him before he could get away. “I know this is kind of a dumb question but have you seen anyone come in in the past, oh maybe ten minutes, with a red rose?”

“Blind date huh,” he replied.  “As a matter of fact, I have.  See that gentleman down at the other end of the bar, the one with the navy sweater on?  I saw him holding one earlier and as far as I know, no woman has come to claim it.”

She thanked the bartender and studied the man he had pointed to.  The guy was definitely handsome.  He looked very muscular and had jet black hair that came to just below the tips of his ears.  She couldn’t make out the color of his eyes because he was intently studying a pint of beer in front of him.  He looked nervous, like he wanted to make a run for the door but was too scared.  He was grasping the glass so hard with both hands Kellie half expected it to shatter at any minute.  Narrowing her eyes, she tried to spy the rose the bartender said the guy had.

Just as she was ready to say screw it, a young lady dipped down next to the guy and came up holding a crumpled red rose.  What the?  The young lady frowned as the guy snarled something to her and then snatched the rose out of her hand.  As the young lady flipped him off, he quickly stole a glance at Kellie and then returned to frowning at his drink.  Mother fucker!